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When it comes to the topic of suicide, many of us instinctively shy away. The word itself can evoke fear, discomfort, and even a sense of helplessness.
Avoiding the conversation does more harm than good. So let's break the silence and address this critical issue head-on: Can we talk about suicide? Yes, and we absolutely must.
Why It's Important to Talk About Suicide in Counselling
As a counsellor, creating a safe space for open dialogue is crucial, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like suicide.
Here’s why it’s important to address this openly:
1. Reduce Stigma: One of the biggest barriers to seeking help is the stigma and shame associated with mental health issues.
Open conversations in a counselling setting can help normalise these struggles and make it easier for you to seek the support you need.
2. Foster Trust: When you know you can talk about anything in counselling, including suicidal thoughts, it fosters a deeper sense of trust and connection with your counsellor, helping you feel more safe and secure.
3. Enable Early Intervention: Discussing suicidal thoughts openly allows for early intervention, potentially saving your life.
4. Empowerment: Open dialogue about suicide empowers you to express your feelings without fear of judgment, knowing you have a supportive ally in your counsellor.
Having the freedom to talk about suicidal thoughts can prevent unnecessary and dangerous rumination. It can also help you explore what might have caused these thoughts to come up for you.
What Do We Know About Suicide?
Suicidal thoughts are usually temporary and fleeting. Once the intensity of associated feelings pass, overwhelm subsides and your ability to cope returns.
People who are considering suicide might not have any outward signs - if you're feeling suicidal it's likely those around you won't be able to recognise it and support you properly unless you let them know about it
Suicidal ideation can be caused by a huge number of things from trauma, abuse and stress, to certain medications and underlying health issues. It's not a reflection of you or your character. It's not a sign of weakness. But it is a sign that you could benefit from support.
Many people don't talk to counsellors about suicide for fear of being reported. While counsellors have a duty of care to help keep you safe, it's important to note that reporting isn't usually necessary unless you have signs of intent (a clear desire and plan to end your life). If you're unsure if it's safe to talk with your counsellor about these thoughts (i.e. you're afraid they'll need to report it) you're always allowed to ask them directly.
Having suicidal thoughts is confronting and scary, but it's more common than most people think. It may helpful to know that only a very small percentage of people who have suicidal thoughts end up taking their own life.
There are a range of protective factors which can reduce your risk of suicide. These include: If you're looking through this list and notice some of these things are missing from your life, this can give you some ideas of things to gradually work towards.
a sense of community
meaningful relationships and people you can talk to about anything
maintaining your mental and physical wellbeing
self-worth and having hope for the future
personal control over your circumstances
resilience
responsibility for others (including pets)
meaningful contribution (to community, work or those around you)
financial security
having a sense of purpose in life
Supporting Yourself
If you're not ready to reach out for support, or if you feel like you can't for some reason, there are still things you can do:
Create a safety plan - Lifeline has a convenient safety planning app called Beyond Now (also available via the web) which helps you list:
your warning signs
ways to make your environment safe
things that make life worth living
distractions and activities
places you can go to connect with people
people you can talk to
professional support you can reach out to
Limit rumination - Rumination can seem like emotional processing on the surface, but the differences is it's highly repetitive and focused on aspects of your distress (what's causing it, what the effects of it are).
Having the same thoughts going through your mind over and over increases the strength of those neural pathways, making you feel stuck rather than getting you any closer to a viable solution. It often leads to unpleasant feelings of shame, blame and guilt.
Some strategies to reduce rumination include:
distance yourself from these thoughts by observing them and saying to yourself "I'm noticing those thoughts are happening right now"
utilise distractions
do things which reduce stress
spend time in nature
try to bring your awareness to the present moment and observe your sensory information (some people find meditation useful for this)
Protective factors - take small steps to build protective factors into your life. You can use the list above as a guide.
You can also use your past experiences as a guide too. Thinking back to times when you've felt content and motivated in life, are there any activities, self-care, pursuits which added meaning, joy or passion to your life?
It takes time to work on these things, so be patient with yourself. Remember that progress is progress!
Summary
Managing suicidal thoughts on your own can be lonely, scary and will likely increase in your overall distress levels if left unchecked.
Talking with your counsellor about suicidal thoughts can help you explore what might have led to these thoughts and address issues before they have a greater impact on your life. It can reduce rumination and help you feel less isolated. You can also work with your counsellor to create a safety plan if it's something you need support with.
If you're currently feeling distressed due to suicidal thoughts, please immediately reach out to a 24/7 support service:
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